Hi! I am warning you now that this is totally going to be super random. I totally missed the Lord in 2015. I hadn’t been really in-sync with my spiritual standards and in a lot of ways disconnected from my Savior. There, I said it. Putting it out there! The year 2015 wasn’t a really good year for me and my faith although there were really good moments and times that I’m really grateful about and it wasn’t like the worst year of my life. It was still great considering how God never let me go and how He still proved Himself faithful even though I was being such a gadfly. So yea, now that 2015 has been gone for a month and a week and 2016 is the new thing now I want to talk about my 2016 so far… (I am pretty much a having a love-hate relationship with it already.)
I already love it because I started this year with a five-day prayer and fasting that has really changed the way I view the days to come. I get to talk to Jesus a lot and I have my Sundays off from work and attend Sunday service which is so rare these times so I’m really grateful. January was really crazy good. I was able to see the Lord Jesus again, I have almost forgotten how He’s like and it’s super depressing to think about even forgetting such beauty. So yea, you can only imagine the joy of being able to see Him again in a brand new light and a renewed heart. I got to see more of Him that I haven’t seen before. I always think it’s amazing how magnificently iridescent He is and He will never run out of ways to show His beauty to the world and to me personally. I started this year believing that I can be braver and more audacious with my faith and my relationship with God this year. Summing up January it was really just all about me and Jesus and what I want to achieve with Him for the months to come. It was not perfect but it was filled with joy and content and a whole lot of my beautiful Lord. I’M GIVING JANUARY 2016 AN A+!
Now, here goes February when a lot of the hope and excitement had rub off already. Hay nako, sucks to be me but anyway… I think I just had a major anxiety attack a couple of days back when I was thinking about my long term goals particularly my career and what I really want to do for a living. Oh dear, I was reminded of how I definitely don’t have it all together and it looked to me like I am more of failure now than a conqueror. I don’t know what happened to me that day, that was a super depressing time for me but I think I’m over it already. Well, not entirely over it I mean common I still have those issues but I’ve decided to sit down with God about it and well it’s crazy because the thought He gave was how I could never see things the way He sees them, I will never be able to look through His perspective BUT He has given me the grace to see Him and to trust in Him that things are of His control and I can rest in that knowledge. I was really blown away by that thought; it gave me sense of peace.
So there I just want to come to that point when God spoke to me about His perspective because it really made me so much better. I’m still struggling, I’m not perfect and I had my moments of doubt but God is giving me some kind of peace and an awful lot of grace and love that’s really helping me get through it. There is still a long way to go through February and I am hoping to be able to write more and write about stuff really that is more than just my endless blabs about things. I am also currently reading this book by Elizabeth Gilbert called Big Magic and I would like to think it will inspire me with my writing process (even though I don’t really have one yet). So that’s a wrap. May the Lord bless You and I pray that You would see Him and be filled the beauty that is just so utterly amazing. Have a lovely February ahead! (oooh, love month for the world! ha! #random #butinalangitsalwayslovemonthforthepeopleoftheLord)
Lord my King, thank You. Thank You for the endless love and grace and patience You have for me. I am a total mess and I’m really not living according to your truth at times but You never really gave up on me. You always proved Yourself faithful and amidst all my doubts and struggles You remind me that I already have You, You already have me in Your beautiful palms and that truth alone is enough for me to live a life well lived, to live a life of love and joy and content. You showed me how crazy it is to be loved by You. O Lord, as I go about the rest of February I hope I’d be able to see You more and that You would just resonate in my life so I can share Your love to the people around me. Abba, I pray that my heart will be emptied of myself and be filled with You. Help me listen to the sound of Your voice that I may live according to the purpose You have for me. Lord, thank You so much. I will never be grateful enough for everything that You’ve done and still doing in my life. I love You so much, my Father. Thank You for loving me and sustaining my love for You. You alone are enough, You really do complete me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.