In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  1 John 4:10

I cannot believe that the last time I posted something here was, well, more than a year ago. I am never a good writer to begin with and now I feel like I don’t even know a thing about writing anymore. Anyway, I just finished reading Max Lucado’s He chose the nails and I’m feeling a lot of emotions. I’ve been reading it every year since I got it in 2012, mostly I read it during the Lent and right now it’s the Lenten season so I picked it up again. I wanted to write something cohesive but I’m afraid I can’t do that. (I’m such a mess.) But hey, bear with me. I just really want to reiterate how crazy God’s love is. I know I would always describe God’s loves as crazy (I have a limited vocabulary, people) and honestly (I tried to widen my range) I just can’t find a better word because it really is!

Reading through this book for the nth time reminded how filthy my sins really are before Him. I know this isn’t entirely new and I guess my prayer in this is that what He did will never be an old story for me. I hope that every time I’d read about what God did to win my heart, every time I read His Word, I’d be filled with awe and be left astonished before His glory and amazing love but I hope I wouldn’t stop there. I hope and I pray that I will always have a response, and that the response wouldn’t be guilt or shame, I pray that my response would always be to cling to Him, receive His love, and shout it out.

I need a lot of fixing in me, God knows how gruesome I still am but God is still at work in me and by His grace I will press on, I will wrestle and persevere until that day when I see Him face to face.

See I told you I cannot write cohesively but may God bless you and may your joy be complete in Jesus’ name.

Oh and quickly, let me add my favorite quote from the book,

“And because the Beauty loved the Beast, the Beast became more beautiful himself.” – Max Lucado


I need You.

I have got to be honest in here… I went totally far off from God I almost forgot how to be Christian anymore. My prayers are almost non-existent and Jesus feels to me like an old college friend I haven’t seen in ages.

That should totally not be the case. I mean come on self, how could you experience the beautiful gift of the cross and forget how crazy amazing it is to be free and to be in a very loving relationship with the Lord? Oh I don’t know, I sound terrible but I think life has got the best of me. I was overwhelmed with everything else that’s been going through my every day that I forgot to look at the only thing that matters, the only thing that will matter forever: my relationship with my loving Savior.

I did not try to run away. I did not feel like rebelling against my God.  I just somehow along the way lost the awe and the joy of my salvation. I am fully aware this horrid situation I’m in, I think about this everyday and all I really want to do is to go back to those moments when I was full of crazy excitement at the thought of Christ’s love for me. I want to get back to when I was uber kilig at the thought of Jesus pursuing me even when He knew how unworthy I really am of his love.

I know that the Lord will never abandon me and I know that although He feels like a thousand miles away from me He is still watching over me and He is fully aware of the situation I am in. I know that even though I can’t get a clear view of Him right now, He is still at work and He will work His wonders back in my heart.

Ugh I don’t even know where I’m getting at with this post. I just want to get my joy back on. I miss Him terribly. I need my best friend back.

Easter Joy

“Where, O death is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

1 Corinthians 15: 55

Easter Sunday; the day we rejoice and thank God for overcoming death for us. Today, we remember how Christ Jesus broke the chains and made us new. Easter Sunday; the day we celebrate the amazing glory of the Lamb of God who conquered the grave.

I couldn’t imagine how it was like for the disciples of Jesus witnessing his death on the cross without knowing that comes Sunday morning they will see the beautiful magnificent Savior they have known and loved now fully alive after that horrible death. Friday was mournful. All that was needed to be done was taken care of by our Savior Jesus Christ. All the suffering Jesus endured that we may live a life of freedom. The Lord died. That Friday on Calvary, JESUS our Lord actually died. I know there was grief, agony was totally in their hearts and hope sure was out of the picture for most of them. Saturday must have sucked; Jesus was their joy, their security, and most of all He was their friend. Then came Sunday morning…

THEY SAW THE EMPTY TOMB. Now that was startling. I don’t know how that felt like to them. And I cannot imagine the joy they felt when they see the Jesus they so love alive and breathing again.

John 20:20 After he said this, he showed them His hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Now, I didn’t see what the disciples experienced firsthand. I didn’t see the cross on the Calvary and I didn’t see the empty tomb. But I know they happened and God made my heart see. There is something though that I experienced firsthand, just as the disciples did… it’s the LOVE OF CHRIST and it’s the most amazing of all. I’m overjoyed because everything that Jesus did, He did for each and every one of us. C.S. Lewis once said “He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”

Have a joy filled Easter Sunday everyone! Let us celebrate the the LOVE that conquered death! Time to yet again dance on God’s great dance floor! YAAAY. 


Lord Jesus Christ, thank You for the cross. Thank You for the love that endured the shame, the mockery, the thorns, the nails, the stab and all the pain that was thrown at You. Thank You for when You were at the cross and had the power to free yourself from it, You still chose to be there enduring all the pain so that I may not pay for the price of my sins. Lord, You knew so well that I cannot do it without You. You know that the weight of sins is unbearable for a feeble sinner like me, so You carried it and You died with it, and You rose from the death to show me that I can now live a life unashamed and filled with joy because everything has been paid for me once and for all. Thank You for giving me the righteousness to stand before You, Father. Thank You for You made me worthy to be called Your daughter. I am forever in awe of Your great love. I will forever worship You. You alone, my Jesus. Thank You. I can never thank You enough. I love You so much, my Lord. Thank You for loving me and making me Your own. I pray that I every day I will be reminded of this love You have for me, Lord. I pray that every time I hear Your name I will be swept away and rejoice. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Love of God

The past few days I was really just overwhelmed with God’s love. I cannot contain it any longer and I know God did not intend His love to be contained, His love is to be shared so here we go.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

God although the world does not know Him loved the world. He delights in His creations, He delights in His people and He cannot bear eternity without them, without US. Yes, He is our Creator but He doesn’t want our relationship with Him to end there, HE LONGS TO BE OUR FATHER. And because of the sacrifice Jesus did, He is.

God wants to be with us forever but with our sins it is impossible for us to spend eternity with God. Yet, God in His great love made a way to give us eternal life. He came. 2 Corinthians 5:21 God made Him who had no sin be sin for us, so that we may become the righteousness of God.

Love is the reason Jesus came, Love is the reason He suffered, Love is the reason He died, and LOVE IS THE REASON HE OVERCAME.

1 John 3:1a See what great love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Crazy, isn’t it? JESUS CHRIST the only begotten Son died because of love. He took the full cup of the wrath of God so that we may be called Children of God. We are made right with the Father because of the love of Christ.

God’s love is greater than anything we can imagine. His love is the perfect love and amazingly it is freely given to us; because of that there is no power that can separate us from God.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 John 4:17 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

Amazing. I don’t even have words to say anymore.


O Heavenly Father,

Thank You. Thank You for the love that is beyond limits. Thank You for even though You knew me perfectly in my sins You loved and cared for me. I am in awe and just blown away with Your great love. Thank You for loving me, for giving me the life I am not worthy to live. Thank You my God for calling me Your daughter. Forever will I worship You. In Jesus’ glorious name. Amen

CHRISTMAS is all about JESUS

Christmas is coming in a week. I am so excited for it is my first Christmas as a Christian. Praise God for that! Now really, what is Christmas all about?

When I was a kid, I loved Christmas because it means shopping and receiving gifts, parties and meeting relatives I haven’t seen for a while. Christmas for me before was a huge thing to celebrate without knowing that we celebrate it not because of gifts and the clothes and the reunions, it’s about the baby who was born thousands of years ago to bring salvation into this dying world. Now that I met JESUS, I was given the amazing opportunity to KNOW the TRUTH. Now I know and I am assured that CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT JESUS. It is about our GOD humbling Himself and became flesh to experience worldly struggles, to become man to save man from death. He overcame everything for us. What an amazing GOD He is!

ISAIAH 7:14 NIV Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

LUKE 2:10-12 NIV But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a SAVIOR has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

I hope that as this Christmas comes, we are reminded of the baby born in a manger thousands of years ago, to give us the life He wants us to live. I pray that as we celebrate Christmas, we put JESUS at the center of these celebrations because truly if our God did not come down on earth, where will we be?  

ISAIAH 9:6 NIV For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

That verse was written in the Old Testament and that’s who JESUS is. And JESUS is the only reason we have Christmas.


Currently reading this book by Philip Yancey entitled “What’s so amazing about grace?”. I’m writing this entry though I haven’t finished the book because I have musings and really just wanted to write down what I feel and what I’ve learned while reading.

How then can we be forgiven if we can’t even forgive all the others who have wronged us? How can we ask our Heavenly Father to forgive us if our hearts are filled with unforgiveness? How can we call ourselves followers of Christ when we’re filled with hatred for others? I was once guilty of this; but God gave me the grace to overcome.

I know very well how hard it is to forgive, though it is easy for us to say that we’ve forgiven, we bear deep inside our hearts the anger… the remorse against that person. C.S. Lewis said “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you”. We human beings are sinners, we all fall short of God’s glory and we don’t have an excuse for breaking His heart repeatedly yet when we ask Him for His mercy and truly repent and put all our trust in Christ Jesus He rejoices and celebrates us, He forgets all our wrongs and when He looks at us.. He doesn’t see us unholy, unrighteous.. HE SEES JESUS; clean, perfect, righteous and unblemished. He is gracious, immensely gracious that He allowed His one and only Son, Christ Jesus to go down on earth from His heavenly thrown to die on the cross for faulty human beings like us. In John 3:16-17 it is said “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trust in, clings in, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life. For God did not send the Son into the world in order to judge (to reject, to condemn, to pass sentence on) the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through Him.” Jesus went down here on earth to save not to condemn, to forgive and not to accuse. Jesus died for us so we can experience God’s love and live fully our purposes. He went here so we would not experience the punishment that we deserve, God doesn’t want us to suffer the wages of sin that is death (see Romans 6:23), He so loves us that He sent us the Son so that we may live an eternal life with Him. He died on the cross for us to be forgiven, for us not to experience wrath, for our God is not a god of wrath, He is a GOD of LOVE. (He himself is Love, He is graceful, selfless, and caring.)

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