Hi!

 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  1 John 4:10

I cannot believe that the last time I posted something here was, well, more than a year ago. I am never a good writer to begin with and now I feel like I don’t even know a thing about writing anymore. Anyway, I just finished reading Max Lucado’s He chose the nails and I’m feeling a lot of emotions. I’ve been reading it every year since I got it in 2012, mostly I read it during the Lent and right now it’s the Lenten season so I picked it up again. I wanted to write something cohesive but I’m afraid I can’t do that. (I’m such a mess.) But hey, bear with me. I just really want to reiterate how crazy God’s love is. I know I would always describe God’s loves as crazy (I have a limited vocabulary, people) and honestly (I tried to widen my range) I just can’t find a better word because it really is!

Reading through this book for the nth time reminded how filthy my sins really are before Him. I know this isn’t entirely new and I guess my prayer in this is that what He did will never be an old story for me. I hope that every time I’d read about what God did to win my heart, every time I read His Word, I’d be filled with awe and be left astonished before His glory and amazing love but I hope I wouldn’t stop there. I hope and I pray that I will always have a response, and that the response wouldn’t be guilt or shame, I pray that my response would always be to cling to Him, receive His love, and shout it out.

I need a lot of fixing in me, God knows how gruesome I still am but God is still at work in me and by His grace I will press on, I will wrestle and persevere until that day when I see Him face to face.

See I told you I cannot write cohesively but may God bless you and may your joy be complete in Jesus’ name.

Oh and quickly, let me add my favorite quote from the book,

“And because the Beauty loved the Beast, the Beast became more beautiful himself.” – Max Lucado

Dry Bones

Ezekiel 37: 3-10 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know”

Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!’ This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

Then He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy son of man, and say to it. “This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet – a vast army.

Today I was reminded of this certain part of the Bible. I remembered how I was one of the dry bones; lifeless and numb. I was not able to live a life of purpose and I was living driven by nothing, thus not living at all. Living in the dark, breathing in death and wallowing in sin. Dead, hopeless and empty.

Until, JESUS came into my life.

I was dead.  I thank God because He did not leave me where I was. He did not depart for me to be eternally dead and forever lonely, He reached out for me. He used people to show me He loves me. He gave me breath through His Holy Spirit. He gave me life; a life beyond this world. The Holy Spirit dwells in me now. He has been so amazing; He has been my source of life, my source of strength, peace and light. He fills me with joy and security. HE KEEPS ME ALIVE AND BREATHING.

I love this chapter in the Bible because it always reminds me of how lifeless my life was before I met Christ and how amazing it is to know Him and finally be alive in Him. I didn’t get it before; I didn’t understand how I can be breathing physically yet be spiritually dead. How can someone say she is now finally alive when she has been living since the day she was born? How was I able to feel more alive than I ever was before?

O the beauty of JESUS. Unfathomable and I wouldn’t even dare figure it out. I am so overwhelmed by this great love.

Also, this reminds me that as someone who is already alive in Christ I am now given the opportunity to spread the message of life and to witness dry bones come to life. Always a wonderful sight. J

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Sweet surprise.

Today I had a conversation with a father and his daughter who went pass our store to look for a book. As they were waiting for the book, I had a very lovely conversation with the both of them. I cannot exactly remember how we ended up talking about Christianity but I sure am thankful I had this conversation with them. The dad told me how he was guiding his daughter since she is a new Christian. We talked about how amazing the love of God is and how unconditionally forgiven we are and how unfathomable it is to be loved by the Maker of the universe… we also talked about fellowship and Joseph Prince (i will listen to him preach after i write this, also the book they bought from us is written by him). I saw that they were in love with Jesus and I know that they are aware of how immensely loved they are. (I felt like I saw them almost jumping for joy talking about it. Awesome.) I am super excited to see them again. I hope I get to talk to them again.

After the conversation, I was reminded that God will never ever forget about me. He sent me the dad and the daughter to remind me that He is aware of where I am even if I feel like a thousand miles away from Him. He made me remember that as my Father, He wants and delights in guiding me and carrying me as I get throught this earthly life. I am super thankful. And super joyous.

Again, after running away and hiding… I am beginning to see the light. Thank You, my Abba. ❤😂

O, joy. ❤

Awake

I was disconnected. I stayed away from God. I tried to hide myself from Him, I felt sick and awful. I felt unworthy of His presence.

Today, I am reminded that I was never really worthy on my own. I am worthy because Christ chose to love me and give me worth. I was really battling, I was depending on myself, trying to make my life look alright without leaning on Him. I can never do it alone. I will always feel dead and dark without my God. Without my eyes on Jesus, I will always strive, aim and stand for nothing.

JESUS; my God, my Light, my source of life. As I get to see a glimpse of His light I was reminded that though I am fully known in my sins, in my awfulness, in my mess… I am fully and immensely LOVED. I am treasured and valued by the King of kings, the Lord of all. I knew I am saved, I did choose to flee away… But there is no separating us from His great love. There is no force great enough to keep me away from HIM and for that I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.

I am reminded that I AM FINALLY ALIVE AND I WILL BE UNTIL ETERNITY.

No worries.

Matthew 6: 25-26 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Once there was this girl who believes in God. She really believes in Him, she prays and talks to Him, she does things she thought would please Him. She’s alright she says, as long as she believes in God she’s okay. But she doesn’t understand the amazing power of the love of God, she didn’t understand that knowing God includes knowing that He has a plan for her, a very good one. So the girl worried, she worried a lot, she said she believes God but then she’s always nervous that things will go wrong, that things wouldn’t go the way she wanted it to be. She said Jesus is her Lord and Savior, but when she worries like that she was taking Christ out as the Master of her life.

It really is sad it has to happen to her. She sees herself as a pretty good Christian… until she had a fresh encounter with her Master.  She saw the face of Jesus and His grace made her understand: God is sovereign and He understands what she’s going through. She finally saw that faith is not just knowing, faith is trusting that God has the best plans and He will go through everything with her. Yes, things don’t go the way she wanted it to happen but as soon as she fixed her eyes on the cross the peace of God overwhelmed her very being. She started crying, she realized how foolish she was relying more on herself when her Heavenly Father is already with her and is more than willing to comfort her. She surrendered, He took charge and though things don’t always seem so clear to her and pain still exists… His embrace assures her that He’s got it all under control and that even in the midst of trials she can have joy knowing God is with her and is for her.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

It’s all about You, Jesus.

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It’s not about me, it’s all about Him. As I finish reading my first Max Lucado book, I was reminded of a lot of things. Most importantly, I was reminded that in all things it is God’s name that must be glorified. Here are some points that I really appreciate and I’m glad I was reminded of:

1. As I claim to be a child of God, it is my response to make His name known to people who doesnt yet. It is a priviledge for me to exalt His name and be an ambassador of His love here on earth. I must be reminded that I am not doing this to earn salvation, but I am doing it because He already saved me and because of it I was given the grace to glorify His name and make His good works be known to men. I also would like to share to you that the things that I’m doing now, it’s not my self deciding to do it, it is the Holy Spirit leading me and leading me to do what is right and what is according to His word. I still sin but apart from God I am nothing but a total wreck, so I praise God for loving a disaster that I am. Praise God, He is merciful and He doesn’t keep records of wrongs. I hope that as you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior that you would accept His spirit to lead you on, move your life and live it for His name.

2 Corinthians 3:18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. Continue reading

Amazed and thankful.

“It’s amazing how God works into people’s lives.”  – A sentence I always say when I hear stories of miracles and answered prayers, how God worked into the lives of people I know. And it’s always overwhelming when it happens to me, too. Every time God reveals a part of His greatness it really humbles me and fills me with awe. It amazes me that truly the God we serve is the God of all, and nothing is impossible for Him!

My last post was a bit sad because I was going through a tough time, but even then I wanted God to lead me on. It was hard battling with yourself when you know how you really wanted to handle a problem with your own ways. I almost wanted to take control of the situation and let my feelings affect what I do, so I asked for God’s help. I prayed that He’d help me overcome this problem I was going through. I prayed that my actions would not be based on how I feel but be based on what He wills. Right after I prayed, I asked God to be with me because I know I can never do the right thing without Him with me. So by the grace of God I was able to do what is right, I apologized to the person in my family whose feelings are affected by what I have said and did.  And without pretensions I was forgiven, like nothing happened.

God removed all the guilt and bitterness in my heart. God blessed me with the peace and joy that comes with His love. I’m grateful, I’m grateful that God who made the universe does not ignore my petty issues. He cares for His people. I’ve always been saying how amazing God works into people’s lives, but then I kind of forgotten to praise God  on how amazing He worked and how He is continuously working in my life. This period of my walk with God reminded me to have a grateful heart. Indeed, I am grateful… thankful for every wonders and everything that He has blessed me with. I’m grateful for the things I get to learn when He makes me experience times like I just did. I’m grateful because God sent Jesus to save us from our sins. I’m grateful that Jesus came into my life and saved me from the dark.

PSALM 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

The Battle Within

Lately I’ve been having problems with my family, I’ve been here before and my old ways are starting to creep into my mind tempting me to do things that would not do any good but will only make me drown in an ocean of bitterness and resentment. It actually is starting to get into me. It feels like darkness, it is darkness… and I don’t want it to control me. I want God to lead me every time, at all times especially during these times that I need more faith to hold on to Him. I felt like I’m going back to the way I used to be and fighting what I’m feeling makes it easier for my old nature to sink deep into my heart.

It’s not easy, in fact it’s a lot harder today than it is before. I’m on a battle with my self; my biggest enemy that I cannot seem to get an escape from. Then I got reminded of Romans 7 and 8.

In Romans 7: 15-20 Paul said: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do. And if I do what I don’t want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is no longer myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  He is struggling, obviously. This part of the Scripture speaks to me right now. I know what to do, I know that I should do the noble things but somewhere inside of me is the sin that stops me in doing what is right. And then I get ashamed, I get confused and I get frustrated that it hindered me from asking for my Father’s help which is another thing that’s making me sad. I desperately want to talk to Him every moment especially at times like this but my guilt stops me from doing so. I wanted to focus on Him yet I get fickle minded, like something inside me is shouting that He is not going with me on this for I have sinned against Him. Yet again His Word is powerful and full of hope, in Romans 7:24-25 “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through JESUS CHRIST our LORD!” Isn’t it enlightening? That He who knows our sins also is the only one who can save us from it and He actually already saved us, we just needed to put all our faith in Him. It doesn’t end there Romans 8:1 says “Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  Then it hit me, I shouldn’t feel ashamed for Jesus would not condemn me. He already paid my debts and I need nothing more to do but fix my eyes on Him and solely trust in His name. I’m grateful, beyond grateful that Jesus found me and is continuously giving me His strength and peace.

Now I have to admit I still am a bit confused right now and I still can’t figure out when this problem is going to get done. But I know and I am confident that my God, my Father got it all under control and as long as I’m with Him, everything is going to turn out fine. It might get painful in this life but God knows it all and I am sure that if He allows me to get through this, it’s only because He wants me to grow in faith and learn from it.

I am thankful that God never leaves my side. I go frustrated and rude yet He loves me anyway. Also, I thank Him for His people who are always there to encourage me and remind me that He is faithful and there is nothing He can’t do. I thank God for people who do not give up on  reminding me to do what is right and do it not just for the sake of doing it but to do it because I am loved by a great God who gives it all for me.

nikka

Mere Christianity

Today I finished reading this very amazing book that is Mere Christianity.  C.S. Lewis will always be one of my favorite authors.  I cannot put into words the lessons I have learned from this book. I also was reminded of a lot of things.  All I can say is you gotta read it, too.

In Christ a new kind of man appeared: and the new kind of life which began in Him is to be put in us. -C.S.L

Galatians 2:20  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.