I have got to be honest in here… I went totally far off from God I almost forgot how to be Christian anymore. My prayers are almost non-existent and Jesus feels to me like an old college friend I haven’t seen in ages.
That should totally not be the case. I mean come on self, how could you experience the beautiful gift of the cross and forget how crazy amazing it is to be free and to be in a very loving relationship with the Lord? Oh I don’t know, I sound terrible but I think life has got the best of me. I was overwhelmed with everything else that’s been going through my every day that I forgot to look at the only thing that matters, the only thing that will matter forever: my relationship with my loving Savior.
I did not try to run away. I did not feel like rebelling against my God. I just somehow along the way lost the awe and the joy of my salvation. I am fully aware this horrid situation I’m in, I think about this everyday and all I really want to do is to go back to those moments when I was full of crazy excitement at the thought of Christ’s love for me. I want to get back to when I was uber kilig at the thought of Jesus pursuing me even when He knew how unworthy I really am of his love.
I know that the Lord will never abandon me and I know that although He feels like a thousand miles away from me He is still watching over me and He is fully aware of the situation I am in. I know that even though I can’t get a clear view of Him right now, He is still at work and He will work His wonders back in my heart.
Ugh I don’t even know where I’m getting at with this post. I just want to get my joy back on. I miss Him terribly. I need my best friend back.