I need You.

I have got to be honest in here… I went totally far off from God I almost forgot how to be Christian anymore. My prayers are almost non-existent and Jesus feels to me like an old college friend I haven’t seen in ages.

That should totally not be the case. I mean come on self, how could you experience the beautiful gift of the cross and forget how crazy amazing it is to be free and to be in a very loving relationship with the Lord? Oh I don’t know, I sound terrible but I think life has got the best of me. I was overwhelmed with everything else that’s been going through my every day that I forgot to look at the only thing that matters, the only thing that will matter forever: my relationship with my loving Savior.

I did not try to run away. I did not feel like rebelling against my God.  I just somehow along the way lost the awe and the joy of my salvation. I am fully aware this horrid situation I’m in, I think about this everyday and all I really want to do is to go back to those moments when I was full of crazy excitement at the thought of Christ’s love for me. I want to get back to when I was uber kilig at the thought of Jesus pursuing me even when He knew how unworthy I really am of his love.

I know that the Lord will never abandon me and I know that although He feels like a thousand miles away from me He is still watching over me and He is fully aware of the situation I am in. I know that even though I can’t get a clear view of Him right now, He is still at work and He will work His wonders back in my heart.

Ugh I don’t even know where I’m getting at with this post. I just want to get my joy back on. I miss Him terribly. I need my best friend back.


Easter Joy

“Where, O death is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

1 Corinthians 15: 55

Easter Sunday; the day we rejoice and thank God for overcoming death for us. Today, we remember how Christ Jesus broke the chains and made us new. Easter Sunday; the day we celebrate the amazing glory of the Lamb of God who conquered the grave.

I couldn’t imagine how it was like for the disciples of Jesus witnessing his death on the cross without knowing that comes Sunday morning they will see the beautiful magnificent Savior they have known and loved now fully alive after that horrible death. Friday was mournful. All that was needed to be done was taken care of by our Savior Jesus Christ. All the suffering Jesus endured that we may live a life of freedom. The Lord died. That Friday on Calvary, JESUS our Lord actually died. I know there was grief, agony was totally in their hearts and hope sure was out of the picture for most of them. Saturday must have sucked; Jesus was their joy, their security, and most of all He was their friend. Then came Sunday morning…

THEY SAW THE EMPTY TOMB. Now that was startling. I don’t know how that felt like to them. And I cannot imagine the joy they felt when they see the Jesus they so love alive and breathing again.

John 20:20 After he said this, he showed them His hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Now, I didn’t see what the disciples experienced firsthand. I didn’t see the cross on the Calvary and I didn’t see the empty tomb. But I know they happened and God made my heart see. There is something though that I experienced firsthand, just as the disciples did… it’s the LOVE OF CHRIST and it’s the most amazing of all. I’m overjoyed because everything that Jesus did, He did for each and every one of us. C.S. Lewis once said “He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”

Have a joy filled Easter Sunday everyone! Let us celebrate the the LOVE that conquered death! Time to yet again dance on God’s great dance floor! YAAAY. 


Lord Jesus Christ, thank You for the cross. Thank You for the love that endured the shame, the mockery, the thorns, the nails, the stab and all the pain that was thrown at You. Thank You for when You were at the cross and had the power to free yourself from it, You still chose to be there enduring all the pain so that I may not pay for the price of my sins. Lord, You knew so well that I cannot do it without You. You know that the weight of sins is unbearable for a feeble sinner like me, so You carried it and You died with it, and You rose from the death to show me that I can now live a life unashamed and filled with joy because everything has been paid for me once and for all. Thank You for giving me the righteousness to stand before You, Father. Thank You for You made me worthy to be called Your daughter. I am forever in awe of Your great love. I will forever worship You. You alone, my Jesus. Thank You. I can never thank You enough. I love You so much, my Lord. Thank You for loving me and making me Your own. I pray that I every day I will be reminded of this love You have for me, Lord. I pray that every time I hear Your name I will be swept away and rejoice. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Sweet surprise.

Today I had a conversation with a father and his daughter who went pass our store to look for a book. As they were waiting for the book, I had a very lovely conversation with the both of them. I cannot exactly remember how we ended up talking about Christianity but I sure am thankful I had this conversation with them. The dad told me how he was guiding his daughter since she is a new Christian. We talked about how amazing the love of God is and how unconditionally forgiven we are and how unfathomable it is to be loved by the Maker of the universe… we also talked about fellowship and Joseph Prince (i will listen to him preach after i write this, also the book they bought from us is written by him). I saw that they were in love with Jesus and I know that they are aware of how immensely loved they are. (I felt like I saw them almost jumping for joy talking about it. Awesome.) I am super excited to see them again. I hope I get to talk to them again.

After the conversation, I was reminded that God will never ever forget about me. He sent me the dad and the daughter to remind me that He is aware of where I am even if I feel like a thousand miles away from Him. He made me remember that as my Father, He wants and delights in guiding me and carrying me as I get throught this earthly life. I am super thankful. And super joyous.

Again, after running away and hiding… I am beginning to see the light. Thank You, my Abba. ❤😂

O, joy. ❤

joy, peace and love in Christ alone

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (Psalm 16:11 NIV)

Amazing is the joy, peace, love and security I found in the name of Jesus. Never did I think about such joy, such peace that would blow me away every time. When I found the life in Him, problems did not go away, life is still filled with troubles yet I found my peace, I found astonishing peace in knowing that He cares for me, and loves me as His daughter. I found security, I know I would never be forsaken. Though there are times when I feel defeated, my Heavenly Dad reminds me that He already won the victory. He won it all for me and you and with Him with and for us, everything will go just exactly as He wills it to be. ( His will is good, perfect and pleasing. Read Romans 12:2)

I am filled with genuine joy as I fix my eyes on Him. He is who He says He is and He is everything we need to conquer this life on earth. ❤

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4, NIV)

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 NIV)